There’s been nearly as much debate about the G-spot in recent years as there has about Brexit. Many professional experts and some women question its very existence, so you can imagine how confused most men are on this subject. There’s no doubt that some women have an area a few inches inside their vagina, on the upper wall, that swells when pressed and stroked. This can give mind-blowingly pleasurable sensations. Others find the same area simply gives them the urge to pee when it’s massaged, and some women can’t find it at all.¹
If you’re a guy seeking enlightenment on the matter, and your lover is up for a bit of intimate personal research, maybe you can have some fun exploring together to see if she has a G-spot, where it is and what it might mean for your sex lives. When she’s ready, slide a finger inside her pussy and curl the tip as if beckoning someone. Go slowly and pay attention to the way it feels under your finger: if you find the G-spot, it should start to swell. Continue to press lightly, using circular motions to explore and just watch the expression on her face. That will tell you everything you need to know about how aroused she is by G-spot stimulation. If you’re finding it a bit tricky to put your finger on it, try using a sex toy with a curved tip and see how that works for her.¹
If your mission’ s been successful, your (and her) reward will be all the fun that comes with seeing how you can make the most of this new-found erogenous zone. It’s time to get the Kama Sutra off the bookshelf to find the positions that give her the most stimulation. Doggy style (with her on her knees and you on all fours behind) and a version of the missionary position with her ankles around your neck are both great for hitting the G-spot. Using your hand to stimulate her from behind can also do the job.¹
No G-spot, no problem
But what if you can’t find her G-spot? That’s no big deal, particularly when you think it didn’t officially exist until Ernst Grafenberg, a German physician and scientist, wrote about this erogenous zone for the first time in 1950. And it was only in the 1980’s that a new generation of researchers came up with the G-spot name in honour of Grafenberg.² All it means is you’ll just have to focus on other areas to drive her crazy with your lovemaking.
Going for a clitoral orgasm would certainly be a good place to start. This kind of orgasm is the one that most women enjoy. It comes with an intense tingling feeling on your skin and in your brain. The clitoris, known as the clit for short, is a small organ full of nerve endings that peeks out from the fold of skin, just above the pussy.³ Try taking her all the way to the Big-O by rubbing the clit gently with your fingers, palm or tongue in a backwards and forwards or circular motion.³
It’s good to talk
Some women can also reach orgasm through anal sex or by using other erogenous zones on the body. Every woman’s different so the best thing you can do is talk to your lover. After all, nobody’s going to be able to tell you what turns her on better than she will. It helps, of course, if you’re open to trying new things. If your normal moves aren’t getting the results you’re after, try touching other areas that she suggests might do the trick.³