There are a lot of fish in the sea, and when you’re single, it can feel like the best strategy is to keep meeting fish until you eventually find your white whale. But that’s not necessarily true.
Sometimes, we all need to take a break from dating.
Building a healthy relationship isn’t just about meeting the right person, it’s about being ready for a relationship when you do meet that person. Sometimes we need to take a step back, press the pause button, and take some time for ourselves so that we can come back to dating with fresh eyes.
A relationship isn’t just about finding a partner, it’s about creating a partnership. And that takes two people. You being one of them. Thus: the Dating Detox.
WHY YOU SHOULD TRY A DATING DETOX
Whether you just got out of a relationship or have been casually dating for years, a detox is a great way to reset and figure out what you want from dating. Do you want a long term relationship? A play partner? To go on some hot dates? Knowing and articulating what you’re looking for is the key to dating success, and taking a step away is essential to that process.
Detoxes can also help you identify and break your relationship patterns. If you find yourself in the same type of toxic relationship over and over again, taking time to reset is imperative to finding a healthy relationship. By taking a step away to reconnect with yourself, the hope is that when you come back to the dating pool you’ll have fresh eyes to find your Mr/Mrs/Mx Right.
SIGNS YOU NEED A DATING DETOX
Do you feel burnt out after going on a date? Are you scrolling in the hopes that you’ll find someone to make you happy or fix your life? Do you find yourself dating people with the same bad patterns over and over again?
If you said yes to any of these questions: you probably need a dating detox. Whether you’re a serial monogamist or a hookup artist, if you’re feeling burnt out on dating or relying on it to make your life worthwhile…it’s time to take a step back and get right with yourself.
WHAT DOES A DATING DETOX LOOK LIKE?
A dating detox can look like a lot of different things, depending on the issues in your dating life you’re trying to address. If you’re constantly in and out of relationships, it might mean focusing on casual dating for a set period of time. If you’re feeling heart broken, it might mean cutting out dating completely so you can build up the other relationships in your life.
Here are a few tips for formulating the guidelines to your very own detox:
1-Set a Timeline
And commit to it. I recommend 30, 60, or 90 days, depending on what feels right to you. If you just got out of a relationship, a good tip is to detox for half the time of that relationship. Again, it should be an amount of time you feel is reasonable for you to commit to, but not so long that you’re avoiding dating indefinitely.
2-Write Down Your Goals
Whatever amount of time you decide on, write it down so you can commit to holding that agreement with yourself. While you’re at it, I suggesting writing out a contract stating exactly what this detox consists of for you. Some suggestions? Delete all dating apps, no flirting at the club, and no communication with exes or romantic interests. If they’re truly interested, they’ll wait.
Make sure you take time to write down some positive things you’d like to accomplish while you’re on the detox. Which brings me to my next point:
4-Connect With Yourself
All that time you spent getting to know other people? Use it to get to know yourself! Ask yourself questions you would ask someone else. What are you looking for in a relationship? What do you love about your life? Do you know what you bring to the table? Make a list of things you like about yourself. Sign up for a class you’ve always wanted to take. Go on a solo trip to the beach. Take yourself on a date! Seriously.
5-Spend Time With Friends
Just because you’re not dating doesn’t mean you should isolate yourself. Actually, you’re going to benefit from going out and connect with as many people as possible! Platonically. Connect with your friends and build up your relationships so that when you are dating, you have the strongest support system possible. Plus, who knows? These friendships may even lead to dating connections later on.
The bottom line is that a dating detox is about you, and you alone. If you’re not in a happy and healthy place emotionally, you’re only going to attract people who are equally unhappy. So take some time away, self reflect and get in touch with yourself and what makes you amazing before you get back out there. You got this!